Lana Lang

[ooc: This is Helter Skelter, before Sam and Ruby arrive in Smallville.]

It's a Motherfucker
Being here without you
Thinking 'bout the good times
Thinking 'bout the bad
And I won't ever be the same

Both of them knew the truth, the events of the past year had made it obvious. Clark Kent and Lana Lang just weren't meant to end up together. It was admitting it to themselves that had been the struggle. She was the one to make the break, and it was the hardest thing she'd ever had to do.

Until he left for the Fortress and didn't come back.

He'd told her she was welcome to stay as long as she wanted, so that's what she did. She stayed at the farm and waited for him to come home, but day after day the house was empty. Some nights she would lay in his bed and just cry. She hoped he was still out there somewhere, but what if he wasn't? How would she deal with that?

How would the world deal with that?

The library was really the only place Lana felt comfortable staying for more than a few minutes. She could only stand to be in isolation for so long, but there was no way she was going to risk mutating anyone any more than she had to. It was perfect: one of the more quiet places in New York, not too crowded, and the desk where she was seated was surrounded at nearly every side with books. She'd always enjoyed reading and just the smell of the room was comforting.

Comfort was what she needed now. Stealing Lex's power suit had to be the stupidest thing she'd ever done in her life. She should have known it was all too easy. He let all that information leak on purpose, put it just far enough out of reach that she wouldn't think twice. He knew exactly what she'd do with that information, how worthless she'd felt standing next to the tower of morality that was Clark Kent. She'd wanted to change all that, to find some way to match that, and she thought she'd found the way to do it, but Lex just used it all to his advantage. Two birds with one stone; a way to bring them back together only to rip them apart.

She could blame Lex all she wanted, but she knew the truth. The choices were hers and she made all the wrong ones. Maybe Lex was right about her. Maybe she really was just like him.

It was a question Lana always dreaded, and it was worse every time it came out of her little boy's mouth.

"Momma, what was Daddy like?"

She always answered the same way.

"Eli, sweetie, I already told you. He was a bad man."

It never seemed to satisfy him, just inspired more dreaded questions, ones she tried to answer as honestly as she could manage. He was too much like her for his own good.

( 'But you still loved him, didn't you?' )

[ooc: Newish Lana, check the list. Dang I have a lot of verses for this girl.]

[locked to reporter_chloe's pregnant!Chloe]
I need to talk to you about something. I probably should have done it already, but...I don't know. I'm scared.

From Chloe:

Pom-Poms -- I used to be a cheerleader. I quit in the ninth grade.
Talon -- I've already explained the Talon in this post.
Betrayal -- ...obviously Chloe and I have some issues to work on. I'm starting to think she really does hate me.
Witch -- ...I was kind of possessed by one once or twice. Though I'm not sure if she's talking about Isobel or just looking for a subtle way to call me a bitch.
Lex -- My ex-husband. Self-explanatory. But I get the feeling she's comparing me to him.

[ooc: Lots of strike outs in this post...which no one can see.]

[locked to Clark(s), Chloe(s), Martha, Sam and Lois]

I made an unexpected visit to Metropolis General today. Don't worry, it was nothing serious, I'm fine. Just a bad day at ISIS. I can't wait to see how the press handles this. And I feel stupid, because I really should have my own doctor on call just in case, so I don't have to swat away reporters right and left. (No offense to you reporters, by the way.)

Sometimes, I don't think I know what I'm doing. Who am I kidding? I'm not even qualified for this job. Normally, I would need a degree for this, which I am working on, but still. I have this job because I've lived in Smallville for so long, not to mention I've called in a few favors. I want to help these people, but sometimes I wonder if I'm even making a difference.

I need a drink.

Chloe won't talk to me.